Twists and Turns
by DianaFrieden
Summary: Darcy never learns about the fateful meeting of his aunt with Elizabeth. How could this affect their lives? A year later, everything is changed.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter one_: **To wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect.**

Fitzwilliam Darcy sat stiffly in the carriage as it rambled down the dirty road, uncomfortable from the long ride and restless in his thoughts. His attempts to read a book had failed miserably, not to mention that he kept his eyes fixed on the same page throughout the whole journey. His cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, was in a talkative mood - as always - but Darcy was too discomfort to reply or even pay attention. His thoughts were on Rosings and more precisely on that day,a year ago, when Miss Elizabeth Bennet had visited it with the Collins. He often thought about her, but never allowed himself to hope anything that she obviously didn't wish to give. In vain, he had tried to forget her, but he could not.

Every time he visited Rosings Park, unpleasant thoughts invaded his mind. Thoughts that concerned Elizabeth Bennet and the things he should have said instead of this hideous proposal. Things that he truly believed and not what his vanity and pride permitted him to tell. At that time, he didn't believe that his feelings would be so strong but as time past, he realized that they were actually stronger than he expected to. Who said that time was a great healer? Bollocks, he would reply. He never stopped loving her, neither did his feelings change; he didn't even get bitter for his unreturned love.

"Come on Darcy, get rid of that expression" Fitzwilliam slapped him on the shoulder.

Darcy turned to him and scowled. "What expression?"

"Must you look so plum? We have visited our aunt innumerable times throughout the years, surely you have learned how to tolerate her."

Darcy took a deep breath. "Yes."

"You know we have to."

The carriage door was opened and the two men stepped out, soon they were welcomed by their aunt and cousin. After a while, as the colonel occupied Lady Catherine and talked of war and politics - like she had any idea of what she was talking about . In the midst of Darcy's thoughts, he became aware of his aunt mention to Mr Collins, informing them that she had to find another clergyman.

"Excuse me, aunt, but what happened to Mr Collins?"

"He has quit from his position. He is now in Hertfordshire, to that estate that was entailed to him."she paused "Mr..Mr.. I can't remember his name, died and Mr . Collins claimed his rightful possession"

"Mr. Bennet?" Darcy asked with such a feeling that raised his cousin's curiosity.

"Yes, the very one" Lady Catherine simply said. "This had been a great inconvenience for me. It took me at least two months to find another one to suit my tastes"

"When did this all happen?"

"It's been more than nine months."

"Is that Elizabeth Bennet's family?" Colonel asked, but before the lady could respond Darcy posed another question to his aunt.

"Do you know perhaps what happened to the ladies? Where are they settled?"

"How should I know and why should I care?" she plainly stated.

"That's grave indeed" the colonel commented. "I cannot imagine what they've suffered"

"I do not sympathize them in the least, because all that could be avoided, if that silly girl had accepted him" she said. "I remember her, not very clearly I might say, when she came here at Rosings Park"

"Where are you referring to?" Darcy asked again.

"To the proposal that Collins made to Elizabeth Bennet. But, the selfish girl refused him. I tell you, that girl has such a high opinion of herself, more than she deserves."

Darcy felt felt as thought he had been stubbed in the chest, right next to his heart. He couldn't feel his legs and his breathing was getting slow. Did really Collins proposed to Elizabeth? How dare he assume that she would accept him? She deserved everything and Collins was not the person, who was able to give her even in the least of what she needed. On the other hand, he was the right man for this task. He could give up everything for her. He was able cherish her, properly as she deserved. But, then again, she had refused him and frankly saying, he deserved it. _You are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry_, her painful words passed through his head one more time.

"I would disagree aunt. I would say that Miss Bennet is extremely modest." Fitzwilliam said and interrupted Darcy from his thoughts.

"The nerves of that girl! She did not even have the decency to answer my questions, not only to mention her rudeness towards my person." She paused to calm her nerves, as she was getting red from her anger "...to assume that Darcy would ever marry her"

"What?" Fitzwilliam Darcy almost shouted.

"Is it not ridiculous? The shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted" she replied with temper

"What are you talking about?" He demanded

"I visited Miss Bennet to hear from her own lips that the rumors of her attachment with you was simply a falsehood."

"What? When did this happen? " Darcy said as he stood up.

"Sit down, nephew. There's no reason for you to be so upset"

"What did she say?"

"I made her promise me that she would never enter into such an engagement, but she hearty refused. Unfeeling, selfish girl!"

"I think that's enough,aunt" Darcy angrily replied as he positioned himself in in font of the window,with his hands behind his back.

"Darcy, I do..." she tried to say but the colonel interrupted her, trying to lighten up the tension that was created.

"Tell me aunt, how Anne is getting along? Has her health improved?"

But, because Darcy couldn't rest his temper nor his endless thoughts, which were passing through his head. He excused himself and run to his chambers. He couldn't stand another word from anyone, he just wanted to be left alone in his solitude. Unluckily for her ladyship, Elizabeth's refusal had a different effect on Darcy. It taught him to hope as he scarcely ever allowed himself to hope before. He knew very well that if she had been absolutely, irrevocably decided against him, she would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly. He knew enough of her frankness to believe her capable of that. But, all that time he kept himself away from her,but he did it, only because he thought that it was what she wanted. A year of pain and despair could have been avoided if those news reached his ears earlier. Was it too late to redeem himself?

That night, when the house slept Darcy laid awake in the library, pondering on what Lady Catherine said. Elizabeth was all that he cared of, even it did no good at his pride, to have such a weak spot, it was true. So true, as his flesh and bones. She was in his only thoughts and everywhere he went, she was there. She was in every page of every book he picked up to distract himself. But, what really troubled him now, was her safety. What if she was forced to marry someone wealthy to save herself and her family? He couldn't thought of anyone, except him, kissing or even touching her. She was supposed to be his. He needed to know where she was. He needed to see her, as much as he needed the air to breathe. If what his aunt said was true, then Elizabeth was not entirely indifferent to him. She might even love him and that thought, gave him hope. And hope was the beginning of everything...

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_Author note: Hello everyone! I'm so excited for this story, because it's my first one, so I'd ask you to be kind. But, I really like constructive criticism and generally any review from you would be wonderful. This idea has been bouncing around my head ever since I first read the book, so I thought I might give it a shot. Hope you enjoy! _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two: ****Even love unreturned has it's rainbow.**

No one could ever imagine that the great Fitzwilliam Darcy could be tormented so much because of a woman. Staying at Rosings Park and listening to his aunt, was a real torture for him, but not so painful as not having Elizabeth. It was even difficult to sleep at night, he often dreamt of several misfortunes that could happen to her and that couldn't put him at ease. He looked as if he thought it tainted to be loved by her, but he could not avoided it. Nay, he had never loved any woman before, his life was always too busy, his thoughts too much absorbed with other things. Now he loved a certain person so much that he hadn't any fear of expressing it on his part. He knew how she could be loved. He had not loved her without gaining that instinctive knowledge of what capabilities were in her. His soul could walk in a glorious sunlight if by his power of loving, could win her love.

The third day, the cousins departed and after a long journey they arrived at Pemberley. The Colonel, who had the guardianship of Georgiana as well, was very eager to see her. So was her brother. Georgiana Darcy was the only person who could make him smile like nobody else. She was a real delight! Soon, they were found on the great halls of Pemberley, with the young lady waiting for them.

"Richard, how much I missed you!" the young lady said and hugged her cousin. He put his hands protectively around her and hugged her tight as well.

"Tell me that Darcy wasn't torturing you all this time that I was gone." He laughed.

"If you mean his silence, then yes indeed, that was a real torture." she replied and Darcy frowned.

"Tell me, dearest, how was your day." Darcy smiled.

"Is there something wrong? You seem so taciturn brother" she asked and seeing that she was not going to receive an answer, she turned to her cousin and said "What Lady Catherine did this time?

Fitzwilliam laughed "You know her too well, don't you? But I think this time, the matter concerns Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

"Miss Elizabeth? Why, what happened to her?" Georgiana asked concerned.

"Can you change the subject please?" Darcy interrupted.

"Not, if it involves you and her."

"What do you mean?" Darcy almost blushed.

"Really Darcy, do you think that we are so morons that we don't understand that you're quite attached to her." His cousin paused. "Its pretty obvious"

"That is absurd" He defended himself

"He has already too much worry for her." He paused. "The most unfortunate event happened"

"What?"

"Her father died many months ago" the colonel replied.

"Oh my god! That's grave indeed! I cannot imagine what she's been through"

A light conversation followed with the cousins teasing each other. They talked about the season and Georgiana played couple of songs to entertain them. She knew very well that her playing gave her brother pleasure and today she wanted desperately to lighten his spirits. She was aware of his affections towards Elizabeth and she could understand why he loved her so much. Elizabeth Bennet could be a wonderful wife and sister to her, she really enjoyed her company when she had visited them with her aunt and uncle. Seeing Darcy happy with that woman, was a simple reason to make Georgiana satisfied as well.

That evening, when Darcy was found all alone with his thoughts, he started to think how he should approach her or how he could find Elizabeth. He didn't know where to start , going to Longburn was always a possibility but apparently not the best one. He didn't want to expose himself or raise any expectations, at least until he was certain that she loved him back. Suddenly, his valet entered and handed him his letters, finding him completely lost in his thoughts. When he left, Darcy locked the door and leaned back in his chair with his hands cradling the back of his head; his feet were stretched out and resting of the desk. He then, picked up the letters and started reading. The first one was from Mr Bingley.

_Darcy old friend,_

_I hope that you are well, but then again what could happen to the master of Pemberley? I hope that your sister is well too. We are all expecting you to come to London, the balls are greater than ever. We are so excited to see the Darcys again._

_As for my affairs, I have the most wonderful news to tell you. Two days ago, I saw Miss Bennet in a ball, I'm sure that you remember her. She looked absolutely divine, more beautiful than I remembered. She is an angel, Darcy. We talked and laughed and we danced almost all her dances. I must tell you that I have not yet get over her, my affections are still so strong as before._

_I also apologised on leaving her so suddenly back then and she forgave me. What a beautiful creature she is! I honestly do not know how I lived without seeing her for over a year. I also have to thank you for telling me about yours and my sister's involvement on that matter. It gave me a change to start all over again._

_That's all from me. I do not wish to hear any of your news, I expect you to tell me on person in a few days, as you promised._

_Farewell,_

_Charles Bingley_

Darcy read the letter one more time, just to make sure that he comprehended what his friend wrote to him. He was indeed so happy and relieved that his friend had met his match and that she accepted his faults. He also hoped that Elizabeth could have such a forgiving nature as her sister, so she could forget all the troubles that his pride cost her, even though that he made amends. But most of all, he was so relieved that he found a clue that could guide him to Elizabeth, even if that came unexpectedly. Charles had seen Miss Bennet, which meant that she knew where Elizabeth was. That information was so valuable to him as a bar of gold, or even more.

That night, Darcy didn't slept too much, not only because of their departure tomorrow, but because he was so excited to see her. He could feel his heart beating near his ear and whenever he closed his eyes, she was there. Most of all, he thought of her momentarily holding a hour-glass, containing time. She contained his past and his future, both now cramped together, with such gentleness. Ever since that first meeting, he knew that she was going to be his fate, however from time to time he have disguided that knowledge to himself. But, now after all this wasted time, he was determined to grab whatever she was willing to give him.

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_AN: Hello again! First of all, it's very important to mention that your responces overwhelmed me, I never thought that I could ever receive so much support. So, thank you all! It means the world to me to know that you appreciate what I do. _

_Secondly, some of you were a little bit confused if the elopement happened. Of course it did, the story begins after a year of the fateful meeting of Lady Catherine's with Elizabeth, except that Darcy never learn this development, until now. Also, you mentioned that there are some grammar or spelling mistakes and I'm sorry for the inconvenience. You see, English is not my first language and sometimes I make mistakes, without realizing, but I'm getting better. I promise you that the upcoming chapters will be better. _

_That's all. Don't forget to review, I really need your opinion. _

_Until next time, D._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three: The future must be met, however stern and iron it be. **_-E. Gaskell_

Elizabeth thoughts were at Pemberley this evening more than the last, and the evening though as it passed it seemed long, was not long enough to determine her feelings towards one in that mansion; she lay awake two whole hours to make them out. What were her real feeling towards Mr. Darcy? Were to shameful to reveal? She certainly did not hate him. Hatred had vanished long ago and she had almost been ashamed of ever feeling a dislike against him. The respect created by the conviction of his valuable qualities, though at first unwillingly admitted, had for some months now a friendlier nature. It was not only his warm disposition, which he produced the last time she saw him, but it had something more to to do with the fact that he was perfectly amiable. But above all, about respect and esteem, there was a motive within her, that couldn't be overlooked. It was gratitude. Gratitude not merely for having once loved her,but for his good will to change his character because of her. Such a change in a man of so much pride, astonished her. She had come now to respect and esteem him. She felt a real interest in his welfare and she often troubled herself thinking if he still possessed his affection towards her. Could he?

But then again, such thoughts were not even allowed to be made. She was not in the position to even dream of such a thing, after all it's been a year of not seeing him and surely he would have turned his addresses to a more suitable partner, or more accurately saying, to an accomplished lady.

Elizabeth now possessed some other feelings, it was not mere jealousy, it was more like grief, though she hardly knew of what. She became desperate for his esteem, when she could no longer hope to be benefited by it. She was convicted that she could have been happy with him;when no longer likely they should meet. She should have given up on hope many months ago,but in vain she could not. Passion always comes first, whether we want it or not.

She clearly remembered the last time she saw him and it felt like yesterday. It was the day when Jane's letter arrived, concerning the terrible news about Lydia eloping with Wickman. Darcy was there to comfort her, but that did little good. How could she forget such a painful day? He had given her the impression that he wanted nothing to do with her and that was very understood. He had suffered and tolerated her embarrassing family for so long and that was the cross line. Darcy would never accept the man who destroyed his sister as a brother-in-law and Elizabeth knew very well that his propriety wouldn't allow it.

It was Jane's presence, which interrupted Lizzy from her thoughts. She came silently and sat next to her on the couch; the sisters entangled their fingers and for a brief moment, they hugged. Elizabeth 's deep breath broke the silence between them.

"What is it dear Lizzy? What distresses you so?" Jane asked with tenderness.

"It's really nothing Jane" she lied.

"You know you can talk to me Lizzy"

"Yes, I know" she immediately responded. "Tell me about Mr. Bingley, I dearly wish to know what the two of you talked"

"There's nothing more to say. Only one thing distresses me, you see I'm not afraid of myself, but I dread other people's remarks."

"Then I shall hear none, however dreadfully I'm tempted" she laughed.

Jane laughed as well. "Stop it Lizzy"

"Seriously now, what did you feel when you first saw him after all this time?"

"I felt perfectly at ease, I think" she paused and took her sister's hand. "I now know my own strength. At least now, we can meet as indifferent acquaintances."

"Yes, very indifferent indeed" Elizabeth replied.

"He and his sisters invited us for dinner tomorrow"

"Then we shall attend, don't you think?"

"Yes, of course." Jane smiled openly.

"Did you tell him about Papa?" Elizabeth asked and her voice almost broke. It was a painful subject to touch and everytime she mentioned his name, she tried so hard not to cry.

"No" she paused. "I only mentioned that we are currently living in our uncle's house, but nothing more than this."

"I see."

"She apologized to me Lizzy, can you believe it? He told me that he really regretted leaving from Netherfield so promptly." She paused "And of course, I forgave him, how could I not?"

"At least someone will marry well in our family" she laughed.

"That's cruel Lizzy!"

"Oh Jane, do you not see that more things have been ruined, than our broken hearts due to his death?"

Jane's eyes widen and she took a deep breath "Our changes of good marriage have not been materially damaged by our current circumstances."

Elizabeth smiled and gave her sister a quick hug. "Our changes of marriage were not always great, now I should say that there are none existence" she paused "Who will want to marry us when our circumstances are so low? Mr Darcy made that very clear to me"

"Mr Darcy?" Jane asked surprised.

"Yes, he was present when your letter came to me about Lydia's elopement. He was very kind and gentle,but realizing how low our position in the society would soon be, he made it clear that he wanted nothing more than to be out of my sight. Given now that our circumstance is even lower, how lucky he must be feeling for his escape"

"Oh Lizzy.." she paused "Do you think that he's still in love with you?"

"I don't know what he was a year ago,but he would probably have already found a more suitable woman to turn his addresses to." She smiled as though she didn't care. "All I know is that he or any respectable man would want nothing to do with any of us."

"You cannot possibly believe that Lizzy..."

"Oh no, he's just being kind. That is all." She paused. "But, I am sure that Mr Bingley will renew his addresses, you will see."

"I'm not not at all sure Lizzy and frankly I'm quite consent with that"

"Have a little fate my dear" she smiled "Love is a powerful thing."

"If so, why hasn't he proposed to me when he had the chance to? It's been a year"

"Oh Jane.." Elizabeth said and immediately thought of Darcy's letter, which explained the reason. But the truth, could not be revealed. It would only make things worse and Jane was such a fragile creature that couldn't possibly accept it. It would hurt her deeply and Elizabeth didn't want that. It was not her business to take part in, she should better leave things as they were and if Mr. Bingley truly loved Jane he should act to win her back. Something deep in her, told her that it wouldn't take long.

Dinner with the Bingleys wasn't a pleasant affair, at least that's what Elizabeth thought. Mr. Bingley most of the time, engaged Jane to conversation as it was expected and Elizabeth unfortunately had to put up his sisters. Thank God that her aunt and uncle were there, people she always liked to converse with. Observing the gentleman of the house, she could quite confidently say that he still cared for Jane and that made Elizabeth very happy, indeed. She only hoped that his sisters this time, would not be an obstacle. She knew very well that Darcy would not now object to his friend happiness, he had explained her that the only reason for his interference was that he believed Jane to be indifferent. After all, Elizabeth trusted him now with her life, there was no reason to doubt him.

When tea was served, Elizabeth tried to sit as much away she could from Miss Bingley. She knew very well that she did not like her at all and the sentiments was mutual, but still, the lady didn't miss any chance to put Elizabeth in a difficult position. She would either comment on her exquisite qualities compared to Elizabeth's or she would either make a remark that could bring her in an uncomfortable position. But that was not a surprise for her, she could even excuse her jealousy towards her person. Caroline had noticed that Elizabeth had Darcy's attention and just because she longed for it, a vain person as her could not tolerate it.

"Miss Eliza, pray tell me, how is Mrs Wickman? Is she getting used to her life beside a man in the army?" Miss Caroline Bingley asked and drew all the attention, as she hoped for.

"Yes, indeed. She is very well." Elizabeth confidently replied

"But, I'd thought that it would be very hurt for a mother to lose her daughter from such young age."

"No, she didn't mind at all. I believe she has too many matters to think on than this."

"Do you intend to stay for the entire season?" Bingley asked looking at Jane.

She simple nodded and looked at her sister.

"But, Miss Elizabeth, you must miss Longburn terribly. I clearly remember you telling me that you loved it." The gentleman continued.

Elizabeth frowned, now it was time. "It's not any longer ours to miss."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

Elizabeth,who was unable to continue, looked at her aunt, hoping that could save her. You see, she hadn't even the strength to pronounce the words.

"You see, Mr Bingley, Mr Bennet died, almost nine months ago. Mr Collins is now the legal owner of the estate."

Everyone's mouth opened and an awkward silence prevailed, making it unbearable. Everyone paid their respects and apologised as it was proper. After a long pause, the first one who spoke was Mr Gardiner, addressing to the other gentleman, saying that he would really like to invite them to dinner next Friday. He gladly accepted. They afterwards talked about this season and what London had to offer, they even commented on the upcoming balls and gatherings. Soon, as it was getting dark, the Gardiners with the ladies had to leave and the dinner had been arranged as a farewell.

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_AN: Hello my dear readers! I just want to tell you that Darcy would appear on the next chapter, I hope that you are excited. Do not forget to review, even few words will do. Your feedback gives me the fuel to continue and update as soon as possible._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four: Incredibly close**

The Bennet ladies were invited to a gathering, which was organised by a friend of their uncle. Jane most of the time conversed with Bingley, while Elizabeth talked with an old acquaintance, Miss Fairfax. She was a dear friend to her and she always preferred her company above all else; she was a fine lady with great manners and she came from a very rich background. Miss Fairfax lived in Bath, but visited town frequently because of her father's business affairs.

Elizabeth had never pined for any of the social privileges that those in the first cycles enjoyed, but she took great delight in hearing Miss Rose Fairfax talk about all the engagements she enjoyed over the years whenever she spent time in London . As Rose described the balls she had been invited, the concerts and theater plays she had attended, and the presentations at court, Elizabeth delighted in the enchanting way she described them. She could not help but feel bitterness as she wished that perhaps just for once, she would like to step into Rose's world and experience it for herself. But her chance was lost long ago.

"My dear Miss Elizabeth, I have the highest opinion in the world of your excellent judgment in all matters within the scope of your understanding, but permit me that there is anything better than to spend time in London." She paused "Oh the balls, the dancing, even the gentlemen"

"You are very fond of gatherings, aren't you dear Rose?" Elizabeth asked and and the lady nodded. "I, on the other hand, never saw any interest in them, except perhaps from the dancing. You know how I dearly love to dance"

When the lady was about to reply, a gentleman approached them and asked Rose for the next set, but she kindly rejected saying that she had promised it to another so the gentleman excused himself.

"I feel bad everytime I reject a gentleman, don't you Elizabeth?"

"It depends upon the man" she laughed.

Rose laughed as well. "That's true" she paused "Still, I cannot help but to blush whenever they ask"

"Then dear Rose, you have have not yet been in love" she mocked. "All forms of shyness gets lost"

Rose laughed and replied with a smile "But I have"

"Hasn't he returned your affections?"

"I cannot reply with certainty, he is a very complex man and rarely shows his feelings, but when he focuses his attention to me, he becomes so sincere and gentle"

"He would be a fool not to love you. But pray tell me, when did you meet him? You know how curious I am"

Rose smiled "He is a friend of my father."

The ladies talked a little bit more about that subject, concluding that none woman could understand the thoughts of a man. They seemed caring, but distant at the same time, something that neither of them could understand. But, they were certain of one thing; men were easier to read than women. Soon, they were approached by another gentleman, only this time his face was familiar. It was Mr. Cole.

He was not handsome; no, when Elizabeth first met him, he was absolutely plain, black nd plain, but still he was the gentleman, with a pleasing address. The second meeting proved him not to be so very plain; he was plain to be sure, but then he had so much countenance, and his tees were so good and he was so well made, that one soon forgot he was plain; and after a third interview, after dining in company with him at his estate, he was no longer allowed to be called so by anybody.

"So, you came at last! I began to think I shall not see you" Elizabeth said and gave him a big smile.

"Urgent business unfortunately made me to arrive late" the gentleman said.

"Let me introduce to you my dear friend Miss Fairfax" she said.

"I am glad to make your acquaintance, sir" Rose spoke.

"The pleasure is all mine" Mr Cole replied and bowed.

"Have you danced?" The man asked and looked at Elizabeth.

"No, not yet." She smiled ruefully.

"I was afraid that because I had arrived so late I was going to have to steal you away from another"

Elizabeth laughed "You presume too much"

The party didn't have the chance to continue their conversation, because a gentleman approached them; taking Rose's hand. This dance was promised to him and as a gentleman of his word, he came to claim it. The music had started and the dance was about to begin, when Mr Cole asked Elizabeth for this dance and she kindly accepted him.

They smiled as though they knew each other for so long that no words were necessary to be said. Mr. Cole was a close acquaintance of her uncle that lived in Paris for a year or two, but as his father died many months ago, he had to return and claim his inheritance. They first met at a dinner party that he hosted the day after his return.

When the dance was about to come to an end, on her last move, her gaze was momentarily distracted by someone walking through the doorway. It was Mr. Darcy! At first, she nearly lost her step, but then as her gaze drifted unwillingly back up, their eyes met, followed by a lowering of her head. _This cannot be_, she thought. As her heart raced, her eyes blurred,making her movement very difficult. When the set ended at last, she breathed deeply as she took Mr Cole 's hand. She had not seen where Mr Darcy went after she lowered her head; but she was curious to look upon him now that she was somewhat more composed.

Her eyes turned towards the left, sensing sensing a pair of eyes upon her. He stood taller than those around him. She lifted her head, took in a deep breath and and knowledge him with a brief, polite smile as if she was merely seeing an old acquaintance. He was an old acquaintance! Mr Darcy nodded slightly, causing Elizabeth to blush faintly. His eyes held her, and she could only guess as to the meaning in his intense stare.

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I want to thank everyone one of you, who followed my story and reviewed! I'm sorry for the detail, I hope that you can forgive me. I'm not sure for this chapter, that's why I need your opinion. What do you think?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five: My lungs are thick with the smoke of your absence. **_-R. Carver_

Elizabeth felt butterflies in her stomach and it was difficult to breathe. She focused her eyes on Mr. Cole, trying desperately to forget the fact that she and the man who loved were in the same room, breathing the same air and that one was not the man standing in front of her.

"Miss Elizabeth" Mr Cole said worried and moved his face closed to hers "are you listening or your mind is traveling?"

Elizabeth smiled to him nervously and laughed "You caught me, Mr Cole. My mind was engaged elsewhere"

"Something pleasant, I hope. Would I be too vain to hope that you were thinking of me, my dear Miss Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth laughed while she tried to think what to answer without being uncivil. She knew him for a long time now, almost from the time she and her sister stayed at London and the Gardiner family considered Edward Cole a son. Elizabeth liked him very much and his company was always welcomed. His manner were pleasing and very attentive, his was loyal and kind and from their very first meeting they liked each other. She knew very well that all this teasing was to entertain her and meant nothing more. If Mr. Cole was attached to Elizabeth, he should have made a proposal long ago.

"What have I told you about your imagination?" she replied smiling.

"I know, I know"

Elizabeth didn't replied, she didn't even hear his answer, her mind was still on Darcy and where he was. Unfortunately, she couldn't turn her head and look for him with her eyes, what if he saw her staring at him? He would know! To seek him, would be too risky and she didn't want to expose herself. The only way to find him, it would be if he would come to her. "Could you please fetch me a drink? I really need a refreshment"

He nodded and Elizabeth saw him moving away from him, as she took a deep breath. Soon, she couldn't see his figure, he was lost in the crowd and unconsciously moved her head right as she felt a shadow approaching.

"Miss Elizabeth" a deep voice said next to her ear. She knew this voice, this voice haunted her dreams almost every night, it was the voice who insulted her, the voice who proposed, the voice she loved. It was the voice of the man she loved. It was Mr Darcy's voice. His voice.

She looked at him. He was in front of her, his face a few inches away from hers and his eyes were looking at hers. "Mr Darcy" she curtsied and he bowed.

"It feels strange to see you after all this time"

Elizabeth observed his expression. It was different from his usual ones, his eyebrow wasn't raised and his mouth wasn't closed so tight. He looked peaceful. "Indeed" she paused "It's good to see you" she smiled.

He smiled at her and so abrupt was his appearance, that it was impossible to avoid his sight. Their eyes instantly met again, and the cheeks of each were overspread with the deepest blush. "Are you well?" he paused "I talked to your sister earlier"

She smiled, pleased with his civility. "I'm fine, thank you."

They looked at each other, but the silence wasn't awkward. "I recently heard about your father and I'd like to pay my respects. I'm so sorry, I know that it was a great loss for you"

"Thank you." she simply replied and looked down. "How is Miss Darcy? Is she in London?"

"She is very well. Yes, she came with me this afternoon"

"I'm glad to hear it" she smiled "I'd be very happy to see her if she has spare time"

"I'll inform her, of course, but you must know that she's very busy. She's coming out soon."

"Ohh I see" she said.

They looked at each other once more, but none of them said anything. When Darcy finally decided to open his mouth, Mr. Cole had already returned with two glasses on his hands and handed one to Elizabeth. She smiled at him, showing her appreciation and took one sip from the drink. She really needed something to calm her nervous, before introducing one gentleman to another. They both bowed with the greatest civility and looked at Elizabeth, waiting to break the awkwardness, but she didn't. She didn't even know what to say. Darcy trying to think what to say, all his attempt failed and soon took his leave and left the took of them alone. As she saw him leaving and joining other party, the one that Mr Bingley was in, she wanted to scream and shout at him to come back, but she could not.

Elizabeth soon was in Mrs Gardiner's company, telling her that she had a terrible headache that was getting worse and she wished to leave. Mrs Gardiner tried to persuade her to endure it, because all the important acquaintances were here and it would be better if she opened her circle. The truth was that she could easily endure the headache, what troubled her was Mr Darcy's presence. She couldn't tolerate him, being in the same room and acting as stranger, knowing that he wanted nothing to do with her. He made it very clear when she proposed to see Miss Darcy and he refused with civility. He didn't want his sister, or himself to be seen with someone so low in society. She hated the fact that he disdained her, even though she understood the reason.

* * *

_Hello everyone. I'm back with another chapter, even though it's short. I'm sorry I was away for so long, but my life was busy. I know that I left you with a cliffhanger again, but I couldn't end the chapter differently. The next one won't take long to be up, it's a Darcy one.  
Please, tell me what you think and if you're still interested to read the rest of the story. Cannot wait to read your feedback._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six: He wondered if she wondered if he were watching her.** -R. Carver

Darcy nodded every time a gentleman said something, as a proof that he actually heard what they were saying, but the truth was that he didn't hear a word. None. His mind was more agreeable engaged; he was thinking of Elizabeth Bennet. He still couldn't believe that he just talked to her, even though he knew that she was here, he wasn't ready to face her yet; he was actually never ready to face her. He had thought what he wanted to say and rehearsed it over hundred times, but for a strange reason he failed to perform his speech. She had an effect on him, something that no one else had; she made him very nervous. Talking to her was awkward and it difficult to restrain himself from not falling into her feet, begging to marry him.  
She looked absolutely, radiantly beautiful made more so by she was unaware of the fact. Her brows, her slightly pouted pink lips; the lips that he dreamt to kiss, the glossiness of her eyes, the eyes that made him melt every time he looked at them. They all spoke of surprise, a pleasant surprise to be exact. He saw her as she danced with that man named Cole, she observed her as she talked to him, when she laughed, even when she drank from the glass he brought her and all those things made him angry and jealous.

"Come on Darcy, let's join the ladies over there" Bingley said and dragged him. "You will excuse us gentlemen" They all nodded with the greatest civility and the two men left.

"What is it Bingley?"

"I'm trying to save you, you weren't listening a word they were saying. How rude of you!"

"You're exaggerating"

"Indeed, I am not." Bingley protested.

Darcy didn't dare to reply, it would only make it obvious that a woman had occupied his mind and it wasn't difficult to find out who she was, when he stared her all the time. As they moved to a woman's party, that Miss Bennet and Miss Bingley was in, Darcy looked for Elizabeth and wondered if she wondered if he were watching her. And then, all of a sudden, their eyes met and Darcy could see that she was nervous by the deep breaths that made her chest move quickly up and down. Thankfully, Mr Cole was not in the party and instead Mrs Gardiner had replaced him, keeping her company. He then, not taking his eyes from hers, without overthinking it, he changed his direction and was now approaching her. He could see the surprise in Elizabeth's eyes, but he knew very well that it was better to act now or it would be too late.  
As he joined them, he greeted politely Mrs Gardiner and asked her about her health and of her husband's, they conversed a little, without looking at Elizabeth, almost like she wasn't there. She, on the other hand, had fixed her eyes on Darcy and observed his face with astonishment, his politeness and sweetness reminded her of the time she had visited Pemberley, when he treated her with the greatest civility as though nothing happened.

When the two of them stopped talking and when the silence was too much to bare, Darcy took all the courage he had and asked "I was wondering Miss Bennet, if you are not engaged in the next dance. It would be my honour to have the advantage to dance a reel with you"

Elizabeth stopped breathing for a moment and with perfect calmness replied "No, I'm not engaged." she laughed "But, I wonder, as you know very well that I'm very curious, what made you change your opinion about dancing. I clearly remember you saying that you destained the sport."

Darcy smiled. "That's true, indeed, I avoided dancing if I could help it, but many things have changed including my likeness of it, don't you agree? After all, everything depends on the partner."

"I cannot say that you're wrong."

"It must be the first time we agree on a subject and the first time you agree that I am right." they all smiled "I dare say I'm flattered"

Elizabeth thought of it for a second and then she replied "You must be right again, sir"

When the music started, Darcy claimed her hand and they moved in the center of the room, taking positions with other couples, including Miss Bennet and Mr Bingley. For a while they didn't talk, it was too awkward to say something and to be exact neither of them knew what to say.

When Elizabeth felt ready and wanted to take the advantage of his company, in a low voice, said she "I do not know about you, sir, but I have a vague impression that I'm experiencing a deja vu."

Darcy immediately understood the meaning of her words and smiled, "I presume that you refer to our dance at Netherfield, but I must assure you that this dance is entire different from that one. Back then, we willingly misunderstood each other and truth to be told, we did not have the best of relations." he paused and unsure of what her reply would be, he said "I hope that everything belongs to the past and all is forgotten."

Elizabeth remained in silence. Of course, everything was forgotten, but not entirely everything. She hadn't forgot his proposal, nor the fact that she loved her, but obviously he was willing to or had already forgot. What did she exactly expect that she would still love her? It was almost a year since they last saw each other and he would probably found a more accomplished lady to suit his tastes, he may be now an engaged man. The thought made her shiver.

"Is it not?" he sounded worried.

"Yes, of course it is." she looked at him in the eyes, trying to guess his thoughts.

"I am glad."

"Do you wish to stay in London for long?" she asked.

"I know not." She didn't reply and desperate to talk, he said "Do you like London?"

"Ohh yes, I like it very much. It has many things to offer, but to tell you the truth, I miss the country"

"I prefer the country as well." he paused "I remember how fond of walking you are, I hope that you have not given it up."

"No, indeed I am not." she smiled, pleased that he remembered. "The paths of Hyde Park are very satisfying."

They talked a little more and they only stopped when the dance was over. Darcy took her hand and lead her back to her aunt and took his leave.  
His entire body was intense and he barely could calm himself. His feelings for her were too strong and he was too weak to fight them.

"Mr Darcy" a sweet voice behind him said.

He, surprised, turned his face, only to see Miss Rose Fairfax, the daughter of his beloved friend. She looked beautiful, more beautiful than he remembered. She was one of the ladies that he held in the highest esteem, she was kind, gentle and witty and she was always friendly to him and his sister.

"Miss Fairfax" he bowed. "How good to see you after all this time! You look lovely."

"Thank you." she blushed."How is Georgianna?"

"She is very well." he paused. "She came with me in London"

"Ohh I'd love to see her. You must come for dinner tomorrow" she smiled. "You know how much my father enjoys your company"

"It is settled then." he smiled. "How much do you intend to stay?"

"I do not know exactly, we came last night from Bath"

They talked a little bit more about Bath and how much they enjoyed their time, when Darcy visited them last summer; he and Mr Fairfax were close friends and spend the last summer in their estate and that gave him the opportunity to meet his daughter a little bit more. They used to converse in the afternoons about music and politics and in the mornings he secretly let her borrow his newspaper. She was a very interested creature, so accomplished young lady and Darcy enjoyed her company immensely. If he wasn't already taken, he would be in real danger, but the only woman who managed to capture his heart was Elizabeth and that couldn't change. Rose was everything that he looked for in a woman, but we don't necessarily choose who we love and Darcy didn't regret the choice that his heart had made.  
For a moment, as Rose was talking,he couldn't help but to look at Elizabeth, only to see that she was looking back at him.

* * *

"You have put quite an effort this morning" Georgianna commended.

"I have simply dressed for morning" Darcy replied seriously.

"I thought perhaps it was the blue shirt, but no, it's not that" she paused and looked at him carefully "Your hair is combed to precision and I'd swear that your sideburns are measured with a draughtsman's ruler"

"You are exaggerating Georgianna"

"You look lovely this morning. I wonder..." she continue as she took a sip from her drink.

"I'm still not satisfied with the cravat" Darcy said

"Do not worry, it looks like it's tied with God himself"

"Ohh stop it" he replied as he finished his coffee and stood up.

No, all his attempts to impress Elizabeth with his appearance failed, for the simple reason that he did not see her. He searched for the entire Hyde Park, but probably she didn't decide to talk a walk this morning. Disappointed, he returned home and immediately run to his room. He should get dressed, put a smile on his face and go the dinner that Miss Fairfax invited him. But, he was too tired, too disappointed, too broken to go to a dinner when all he wanted to do was to be near her. He wanted her in his life and he wanted her now or else he would go mad.

* * *

I hope you're pleased, because I'm really satisfied with myself. I wrote two chapters in less than a day. I hope you enjoyed this one.  
I was hard for me to wrote and personally it isn't my favourite, but I had to write it to thicken the plot.  
All I want is your feedback, whether it's good or bad. Tell me what do you think and I promise I will update more.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven: Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.**

As usual Mr Darcy was punctual in his date, they ate and conversed with Mr Fairfax about things that men usually conversed in the gentlemen's club, politics, war and even women. But, what could Darcy say about women, when the only woman he cared about rejected him? Then, when they joined the ladies, they laughed and talked about more pleasant things and Miss Rose decided to perform and Mr Darcy turned the pages. Unexpectedly, the dinner was a pleasant affair and the family invited him and his sister to join them in Bath in two weeks. Darcy accepted, of course.

When he returned home, it was already late and everyone, including the servants, had gone to sleep, but Darcy was restless and he decided to drink some scotch. Not that he was alcoholic, but lately and to be more exact, since Elizabeth had entered his life again, Darcy drank every night, deceiving himself that alcohol was the only way to forget her. But, deep down, he knew that it was not.  
So, he sat by the fireside and thought about this evening and particularly something that worried him. Rosie's Fairfax smile. Not that he had any effect at him at all, maybe a little, frankly she had a beautiful smile and great teeth, but what caught his attention was that she smiled to him more than ever before. He remembered that they had great conversations and that she was always friendly to him and his sister, but something was informing him, maybe his instinct, that these smiles were dangerous. She must be in love with him, he must have raised her expectations, or maybe not.  
If he did, it was certainly not his intention. After all, they hadn't seen each other since last summer and never had her father mentioned something, so it must be his idea, but that didn't mind that he shouldn't be cautious. The last thing he wanted was to broke a lady's heart and especially Rose's, someone who held in the highest esteem. But, what if Elizabeth was right? What if he was the last man on earth with whom she could ever prevail upon to marry? What if he didn't have any chance with her? Maybe he should forget her, it was the right thing to do, but his heart hadn't meant until now and probably never will. He tried to hate her, forget her and erase every memory, but all his attempts failed. It was impossible.

* * *

The next morning found him sleeping on the coach, exactly where he took his drink last night. He excused himself from breakfast and told Georgianna that he his headache from yesterday hadn't passed, but instead of staying in bed, he quickly dressed and decided to take a walk on Hyde Park, hoping that he'd meet her.

It was a pale day, clouds had covered the sun and it was about to rain. Thank God, that many people preferred to stay at home, that's why it was easy for Darcy to spot her. She was sitting on a bench, exactly in front of the lake, embracing herself, trying to warm her body. It took him several minutes to take the courage to approach her, but once he did, he felt the need to take her in his arms and never let go.

"Miss Bennet" he said with his low voice.

Elizabeth gasped in surprise, turned her eyes to look up and when she saw him, she opened her mouth to say something but closed it immediately.  
Darcy saw her surprise and felt the need to speak first "I hope that I didn't startle you"

She laughed with that beautiful laugh of hers and said "Oh yes, in fact you did"

They looked each other in the eyes and it felt like eternity and Darcy couldn't help but to smile a little, afraid that she had already saw his desire in his eyes. "May I sit?"

"I'm sorry, yes, of course" He sat and they looked at each other once more and it was now Elizabeth's turn to say something. "I trust you are well. And your sister too."

"Yes" he simply said. She was so beautiful when she was calm and today there was something different about her, something that he couldn't quite figure out. He looked at her as though he hadn't seen her for years. "My sister is very eager to see you."

He sensed an irony in her smile "That's very kind of her. I'd be delighted to see her as well." she paused for a second and then she said, "But, I thought that she was very busy"

"Yes, she is indeed, but when I told her that I saw you, she got very excited. You know very well, that I can't resist her anything"

She nodded, but she didn't say anything about it and changed the subject. "You found me in my favourite spot."

He smiled. Now, he didn't need to search the whole park to find her, he simply needed to come here. "I thought so. I hope that I don't interfere your solitude."

"No, not at all"

"You look sad." She turned to look at him. "I didn't mean to offend…"

"No, it's not that. I'm just surprised that you noticed it" she looked down "I just don't feel like myself today."

"The future is promising."

She laughed ironically. "You know very well that this is not true."

"Don't say that."

She laughed again. "I'd probably end up marrying a butcher or being a spinster; for a strangle reason, I prefer the latter."

"You underestimate your ability to charm a man and these words come from someone that was once charmed by them" _And he still is_, Darcy thought.

_Was?_ she noticed. Elizabeth blushed. "I don't underestimate my abilities, Mr. Darcy, I simply believe in the strong power that society has in people."

"There are exceptions." _I am the exception.  
_

"I haven't seen any so far." she stated and because she couldn't keep it to herself, she continued "Even you, a gentleman of your station, who once proposed to me, a simple country girl, you made it very clear that you did it against your better judgement and the society's expectations."

They looked at each other. "I know that it was ungentlemanly of me to speak to you in such a way and I'm incredibly sorry for what I've said, but despite my bad addresses, I'd have taken you and honored you as you deserve." _I know_, she thought.

"I didn't mention this subject to pain you. I am sorry. I didn't know why I said it." she smiled a little "Just like you said, everything is forgotten"

"I'd like us to make a fresh start."

"Of course."

"I'm glad."

They didn't say anything for a while and they both stared at the lake. After a while, Elizabeth said, almost to herself "It's getting cold, isn't it?"

He nodded and immediately took off his coat and without waiting for her approval, he gently covered her. It was so strange to see her in his coat and this sight did something to his heart, it was beating faster and faster. She was so tiny and his coat so large and someone would have said that she wasn't attractive, but Darcy found her stunning.

She turned to look at him and said "I don't think it's proper to have your coat." She slowly tried to take it off, but Darcy's hands stopped her.

"I insist."

She laughed "Mr Darcy is all politeness"

Darcy laughed after such a long time, and remembering these words, that she had once said to him, when he first proposed to her to dance, but she kindly refused "Do not mock me."

"It was at least in my intentions" she smiled ironically. How much he loved when he she teased him. "But, you must admit, that we do have a great past and I cannot but laugh at it."

Darcy smiled to himself and he seriously replied "Indeed, full of misunderstandings and offenses."

She smiled softly and not knowing what to add, she said "I must be heading back." She then, took off the coat and stood up. "Thank you"

Darcy panicked. No, that will not do. He wanted to stay there with her until tomorrow, or forever, but he knew that these thoughts were only his fantasy. He stood up quickly, trying to think something to say and when he did, his voice was low and he looked disappointed "Let me walk you home."

"No, you really don't have to."

"But, I wish to."

She smiled kindly and took his hand when he offered him, reminding to both of them, how lovely it was to have their skins touching.

The next morning, Darcy put his favourite blue coat, brushed his hair several times and looked himself in the mirror more time than his vanity allowed him. He took another sip from his coffee and he moved restless to his chair, trying very hard to read his newspaper.

"You should really give up reading the newspaper, brother." his sister smiled.

Darcy ashamed of his behavior that it was so obvious to her that he was so uneasy, he put it down and looked at her "I didn't sleep well last night, that's all." It was not entirely a lie. Elizabeth had invented his dreams once more, but he didn't complain. He definitely preferred to see her in his dreams rather than not seeing her at all.

Georgianna smiled and Darcy could tell that she knew the truth. "Are you going out this morning?"

"Yes, I'm going to visit the Gardiners with Bingley. Do you wish to come?"

"I'd love to, but I expect the dressmaker and Caroline. You should invite them for dinner tonight." she paused "I'm surprised though that you hadn't done that already."

"I will do it today."

"Great. I'm so excited to see Miss Elizabeth."

* * *

_I'm so pleased with myself for this chapter, not only because it's long, but because it took me all day to write it. I mostly wanted to focus on Elizabeth and Darcy and I know that they haven't done a big progress but they're getting there.  
I know that some of you are wondering about Rose and what will it happen, if Elizabeth will get jealous, but I can only say this: you'll find in the next chapter. *drumrolls*  
Thank you all for your lovely comments and I'm so happy that you haven't given up on my story. Tell me what do you think of this chapter and if you have some ideas, I'd love to hear them out and get inspired._


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight: Naive I was just staring at the barrel of the gun**

Elizabeth barely slept the previous night, her thought were on Darcy and even though she did everything that was possible not to think of him, her mind always went there. She was creating their last meeting over and over again in her mind, examining her words and trying to make out his. He was a puzzle that she never understood and even more now.

The morning was stressful for the Bennett girls and especially for Jane, who wanted to look her best when Bingley would come as he promised and so he did. The gladly –for Elizabeth mostly- surprise was Mr Darcy, who came together with his friend.

Instead of taking their tea inside, the gentlemen proposed to show them what London truly offered and as it was natural, they couldn't decline. They walked in pairs as the propriety demanded, the two sisters in front and the gentlemen behind them, when they encounter Miss Rose and accompanied by her father.

"Elizabeth how good to see you" the young lady said and hugged her. She then smiled to Jane as her father greeted Darcy and Bingley. "Where are you heading?"

"Nowhere really" Jane said. "The gentlemen kindly offered to show us London"

"That's splendid"

"How was your day?" Elizabeth asked her friend, as she observed that Rose's eyes were up, looking at Mr. Darcy. But, it was probably nothing of importance; they were old acquaintances and knew each other very well.

"Oh horrible, dearest Elizabeth. I made the mistake to accompany my father to some business he had" Rose said as a joke.

Mr. Fairfax was talking to Mr Darcy, who seemed very absorbed to their conversation that he didn't answer at first when Rose talked to him.

"Mr. Darcy" she called "I dearly wish to see Georgiana. Do you mind if we call upon her now as we are heading back home?"

"No, not at all" he replied seriously.

"Perhaps you could accompany us." she offered with such a bright smile, trying to charm the man before her.

The man himself didn't replied at once, he first looked at Bingley and then at Elizabeth, who was looking down at her hands. Finally, he replied "I think Georgiana can please her guest very well on her own. It's her you wish to see after all." When he went to his prior reasoning in his head, it sounded foolish. A gentleman would never refuse such proposal, but all he could think of was Elizabeth and the opportunity he had now to be near her. "You see, I want to keep my commitments and not stray from my routine"

Elizabeth was astonished and turned her head to look at him. Commitment and routine? That was all she was for her. Was this call just a commitment to his friend? It couldn't be possible and as these thoughts were passing through her head, she couldn't keep her mouth closed and repeated softly "commitment and routine"

"Of course, you're right. Mr Darcy is always dutiful, isn't he father?"

When Mr and Miss Fairfax said their goodbyes, Elizabeth announced that she wished to go home because of a sudden headache. The truth was that he didn't want to be near him anymore. She was mad. Maybe not at him, but herself who was very blind to see the truth when it was in front of her. It pained her to think that he only saw her as a duty that had to be done.  
As their way back home, when they finally walked side by side, she was extremely quiet and Darcy tried to begin a conversation and asked her. Elizabeth immediately replied without giving him any courage to continue, but he didn't mind. So he said " I genuinely enjoyed this walk." He paused "It wasn't a commitment, if you want to know."

"Miss Fairfax was right. You are very dutiful indeed" she replied with confidence

"Yes, she knows me very well."

"I can imagine"

_...to be continued. It's 4 am and I desperately want to sleep._

* * *

First of all I want to say sorry for being absent but I was busy but I didn't gave up writing. I'd started writing a short story and wanted to finish it that's why I gave all my energy there and didn't have time to write the next chapter until now. In case you care to read it and please do -i'll love you forever- it's on wattpad and it's called 'His name was Elliot' and my username is elizaazoo. ( story/57676714-his-name-was-elliot) If you've wattpad lets be friends.  
Secondly, I know you're dying to know about Rose and Darcy and Elizabeth but i promise that you'll find out soon.

Tell me what do you think and if you're still into the story. Thanks and I love you all  
PS love the title of this chapter.


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